


Seduction of the Innocent

by psychadelicatessen



Category: DCU (Comics), Quality Comics
Genre: F/M, Sexual Humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-13
Updated: 2012-04-13
Packaged: 2017-11-03 14:51:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/382534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychadelicatessen/pseuds/psychadelicatessen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On pre-Crisis Earth-X, Phantom Lady is preoccupying the Freedom Fighters' thoughts, and one of Earth-X's Endless isn't happy about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Book of Dreams

Once so very very long ago, in a time before retcons, there was a world called Earth-X, and one day, on this world, somewhere in the Land of Musings, the member of the Interminable known as Tedium had summoned one of the Freedom Fighters to his domain.

"I hope this is important," Phantom Lady said, looking into the dark eyes of her pale companion. "I can't spend all day in dreamland, what with this world overrun by Nazis."

"This won't take long," replied the pale lord, and beckoned her to follow him. Together the two walked, through Tedium's infinite library, until they reached that day's edition of the Book of Daydreams.

Carefully Tedium took the bulky Book of Daydreams and laid it on the floor. Then he and The Phantom Lady knelt down and began to take a look at its many, many, many pages. Adorning each page was a person's name and their daydreams, and at various pages Tedium had pre-inserted bookmarks. He turned to one of these pages.

Phantom Lady started to read the words, and, as she did so, her eyes widened and a smile crossed her face.


	2. American Daydream

**_Uncle Sam_**

He was an old man, the centuries weighing down on him. He was way past his prime, but he felt young again when he looked at Phantom Lady, standing there by the window with her back to him, her skimpy yellow-and-green outfit clinging to her curvaceous body.

"I want you!" he said.

She turned around and saw his lecherous gaze. "Aren't you supposed to point at me when you say that, old man? I like a man who knows how to use his finger."

He lifted his arm, pointing at her. "I. Want. You," he repeated, his gravelly voice emphasizing each word, his finger not the only thing doing the pointing.

"How do you want me, old man?" she said, and then, before he could reply, she walked over to him and rested her manicured finger on his lips. "You think about it, while I slip out of these work clothes."

It always began this way, with Phantom Lady teasingly beginning to peel off her costume and then, having hinted at the pleasures to come, heading off for a shower in the adjacent changing room.

As always, she left the door slightly ajar, and, as always, he couldn't resist looking in. As he lusted over her steamy silhouette, his heart was beating fast and his mind was racing, wondering what she'd come out wearing today; this was the part that kept changing.

Maybe she'd be the bad schoolgirl, needing a spanking from her Uncle. Maybe it would be the innocent All-American cheerleader smelling of cinnamon and sex and apple pie. Maybe she'd be naked, with a head for bed and a body for sin. Maybe she'd be back in her superheroine costume, all tied and bound up like the criminals liked her. Maybe, in a sad reminder of his misspent youth, it would be the Native American squaw outfit...

He stopped his pondering as he heard the echoing of jackboots and she strode through the steam wearing an SS uniform, the split skirt showing off her stockings, and the tight leather coat accentuating her curves.

"On your knees, old man!" she ordered, her voice stern.

He hated the Nazis, he hated everything they stood for, but he found himself wanting her even more as he knelt down before her.

* * *

"I think you've seen enough," said Tedium, his pale hand attempting to cover the rest of the long long page. "I'll spare you the subsequent perversions and purple prose."

"You're no fun," said Phantom Lady. "Anyway, what have Uncle Sam's S and M daydreams got to do with me?"

"They're all about you!" Tedium said. "He's obsessed with you."

"You make it sound like a bad thing," she said, running a hand through her raven hair. "Besides, it might just be a metaphor for the corruption of America under the Nazi regime."

Tedium shook his head and turned to another page...


	3. For The Birds

_**Thomas Wright (Black Condor)** _

He wanted her to do it, but was afraid to ask. Finally, tentatively, he whispered it into Phantom Lady's ear.

"You've got to be kidding me," she said.

"No," he said, blushing. "I realize it might sound weird and sick and unsavory, but it's the thing that turns me on the most."

She looked at him in horror and disbelief. "I try to think of myself as fairly broadminded, but how could anyone get turned on by that? Who'd want to have that on them?"

"You've got to remember I was raised by birds," he said.

She grimaced and his heart sank, but then she smiled and said, "Okay, go on. I'll try anything once."

Together they got undressed and donned the giant pigeon outfits.

* * *

"Ahhh, a couple of love birds. How sweet," Phantom Lady said.

"Sweet? It's another sick daydream centered around you."

"You're crazy," Phantom Lady said.

"No," said another voice, "I'm crazy."

Tedium turned to see his sister Trauma had wandered in. That was all he needed.

"Hello, moonbeams," said the girl in ragged clothing. "Just brought news from our brother Teller. A crisis is coming, film at eleven."

"Just ignore her," said Tedium, as he turned the page once again...


	4. Valley of the Doll Man

_**Darrell Dane (Doll Man)** _

He strode through the luscious landscape, a huge mountain on either side of him, the ground springy and undulating beneath his feet. Coming across a circular dip in the ground, he walked round it, and then, beyond that, he found an opening in the ground and pushed his way in. It was damp and dark but he felt his way down a passageway before he found the spot. As he rubbed it, he could feel the walls start to shake and the ground begin to shudder and a moaning sound filled the air.

Doll Man smiled. He knew that size mattered.

"Wait! Stop! Get out of there!" he heard Phantom Lady yelling.

His smile evaporated as he struggled out of the fleshy cave, leaped off her toned muscular body, and returned to his normal size.

He looked down at her lying there. Sandra Knight was perfect, even when he shrank and every imperfection was magnified, she was still without blemish.

"I've been thinking, Darrell," she said. "I think our relationship should be a bit more plutonic."

He looked at her, crestfallen, a queasy feeling in his stomach. "I think you mean platonic," he said, holding back his tears, "like Plato."

"No, I mean plutonic, like Pluto," she said, a wicked glint in her eyes. "Come here, my Great Dane, let's do it doggy style."

* * *

Phantom Lady looked at the words, and seemed disturbed, lost in thought. "I'm noticing a pattern," she said. "This is weird."

"You've finally noticed this all revolves around you?"

"No, I've just noticed they're all daydreaming about themselves in the third person. That's just bizarre."

Trauma started laughing, and began to knock her teeth out with a hammer. Madness was never pretty.

Wearily, Tedium turned the page once again...


	5. Helping Hands

_**Roy Lincoln (The Human Bomb)** _

When Roy Lincoln's hands touched an object, that object would explode. While this enabled him to fight crime, it had sadly made other things impossible. Now, however, those hands were shackled and safely hoisted in the air, covered in their protective gloves. The rest of him was naked, she'd stripped him earlier, and now he was waiting in anticipation. He smelt her scent first, heard her footsteps as she walked back into the room, positioning herself behind him, out of his sight.

He felt her hot breath on the back of his neck, and then her nails running down his chest. He shuddered as she bit his earlobe, pressing herself against him, and then her hands moved lower, her finger tracing a line down from his navel, closely followed by a bead of his sweat. He gave a gasp as he felt her hands clasping him and then moving, first slowly, but then faster. The muscles in his legs tensed, as he remembered how it used to be, but this was so much better than he remembered.

She whispered in his ear, "My hands make things explode too."

* * *

Phantom Lady saw the look of disapproval on Tedium's face. "Don't be so judgmental," she said. "Surely poor frustrated Roy deserves some relief, even if it's only in his daydreams."

"Doesn't matter, we're all going to dieeeeee!" sang Trauma. "This earth's going to die, and we'll all be out of a job. So much for Quality Control. Even Earth-Prime'll die and this was all their crazy idea in the first place."

"Ignore her, after all, sanity does," said Tedium, turning to the final page...


	6. Open Knight

_**Happy Terrill (The Ray)** _

He wanted her so much, so badly. Surely they'd be a perfect match, him with his light powers, her with her dark light projector; he could light up her life and she could show him fun in the dark. Sadly, it was an unrequited lust and he couldn't tell her his feelings. It was even starting to keep him awake at night.

As he prowled Freedom Fighters' headquarters, looking for a midnight snack, he saw her door was wide open, and there she was, lying naked on the bed, her perfect body covered in sweat, her skin glistening, her legs outstretched.

"Do it to me! Do it to me now!" she said in a breathless voice, as he looked on, frozen in her headlights.

This couldn't really be happening, he had to be daydreaming.

"You know how to make me, Happy!" she yelled.

He didn't need any more prompting, and so, looking her straight between the thighs, he flew at her, lighting up the room like a firework display. Landing on her, he thrust his luminescent manhood into her moist-

He heard a small muffled cry of pain from within her, followed by her screaming as she writhed beneath him. That's when he realized she hadn't been calling for him after all.

One thing was for certain, it would be a long time before Doll Man would speak to him again.

* * *

"That's one weird screwed-up daydream," said Phantom Lady.

"But surely now you see what I mean? You're in all their daydreams!"

"So, I'm in their daydreams. Is that so surprising? They're men and they're around me all day, with me dressed like this. It's bound to be hard for them. Is it any wonder they fantasize, taking their minds off our endless struggle against the Nazis? It's all harmless, it's not as if they write their thoughts down and put it in one big dirty book." She looked down at Tedium's tome and raised an eyebrow.

"I have to look after the daydreams! That's my job!" yelled Tedium (who was also known as Tranquility, though people seeing him now would never have guessed). "I keep a book, Teller sees the future, Trauma says mad stuff-"

"How hurtful," Trauma interrupted. "The pigeons are exploding!" she added as an afterthought.

"Our sister Termination sees dead people," continued Tedium, "our sibling Torment annoys people, our brother Tragedy-"

"Blah blah blah," Phantom Lady said. "Why exactly did you summon me here? Just because my teammates lust after me?"

"But it's not just them," Tedium said, turning the pages of his book. "You're on every page!"

"Nonsense," Phantom Lady said, looking through the book. "Oh wait, I stand corrected."

"Does that mean she daydreams about making love to herself?" Trauma asked.

"Of course not," Tedium replied. "She's not in the book. Don't you remember? The original Phantom Lady died decades ago."

Trauma gasped.

"Is it really that surprising she got killed?" the woman calling herself Phantom Lady asked. "Her fetish for getting tied up all the time left her awfully vulnerable. Anyway, I thought I'd step into her shoes for a while," she looked at her pale siblings, "figured I could use some sun."

"Oh, I remember you now," said Trauma. "You're Temptation? Or was it Tease? Or Tantalize?"

"All of the above," said Phantom Lady. "Thought I was being fairly inconspicuous in my human guise, but now I guess I'll have to tone it down even more."

"Tone it down?" Tedium gasped. "These daydreams are just the tip of the iceberg. The world's obsessed with you. Do you know how many accidents happen while people are thinking of you? Do you realize, because of you, how much time people waste -"

"Writing fanfiction?" guessed Trauma.

Tedium ignored her, and continued, "Temptation, you just can't help yourself. Everyone finds you irresistible. There's only one answer."

"You don't mean?"

"Face it, sis. You've got to give up the day job."

_**The End** _


End file.
